Room to Grow
by fieldgoal182
Summary: Jasper is a shy kid who is thrust into a living situation with a transfer student when he is just a freshman. Does he gain more in Edward than just a roommate?
1. Chapter 1

I was always told I would enjoy college more than high school, but I'm not really sure why. High school was familiar. It was easy and close to home.

I was also told that the dorms here at state were bigger than the average dorm, but I can't imagine how. I'm not sure how two people who don't know each other are supposed to share this broom cupboard of a space.

Which reminds me, my roommate should be here any minute. All I know is that his name is Edward and that he's a transfer student.

I get lost in my thoughts while my mother helps me unpack my clothes (insisting I was "doing it wrong"), when a throat clearing snaps me out of it.

"You must be Jasper?" I nod. "I'm Edward."

Going back to my previous inner monologue and expanding upon it, I think, "I'm not sure how two people, one of which is extremely attracted to the other, are supposed to share this broom cupboard of a space."

Once again my thoughts are interrupted, this time by my mother, "Oh, this is perfect! Look! Your bedding matches!"

I roll my eyes as Edward snickers, and I think she gets the point.

After finishing unpacking, the customary dinner with parents, and some wandering around campus, this is it. My parents are gone and I'm here alone. More alone than I've ever felt. Edward's here, but I'm far from comforted. I barely know him, and the chances of getting to know him are pretty slim. I simply can't connect with people without a ton of effort on both of our parts. My doctor put me on medication to combat my crippling social anxieties, but there's only so much he can do.

"Hey, Jasper, I was gonna wander up and down the hall and introduce myself to people. You in?"

"Yeah, sure." He better do all of the talking. This is all too much too soon.

First stop: next door. Two girls, Alice and Rosalie, and I don't think I've ever seen so much pink at one time. It's like Barbie is rooming with Hello Kitty. I have a feeling Edward was as weirded out as I was, because we made a quick escape to the room across from ours.

This room was more my style. A single room belonging to an Emmett McCarty. After some sports talk and some girl talk (mostly Emmett talking about Rosalie across the hall), Emmett invited Edward and I to a party that night off campus at the Kappa Sig house. While Edward quickly accepted, I was more hesitant. I didn't want to end up alone in the corner, but something about Edward made me trust him. I was in.


	2. Chapter 2

Last time I checked, I'm socially awkward. Being at a frat party just proves this. My therapist thinks I should join a frat to make friends, but if it's always gonna be like this, I don't think I can.

Plus, there seems to be some sort of pussy quota. Each of the brothers spends no more than five minutes macking on one chick before he moves to the next. On top of that, the girls don't seem to mind. This could be a problem when not only am I too uncomfortable to hit on anyone, I would be much more likely to hit on other boys.

Edward's been right by my side most of the night, minus a 2 minute break that turned into a 10 minute trip when there was a line to the bathroom. The cheap beer not only tastes like piss, but it makes you need to piss, too.

I told Edward he could go talk to some girls if he wanted to and I would find something to do (probably casually/awkwardly watch some beer pong).

His response to this suggestion was that there was "nothing here for him," but I'm not really sure what he meant by that. Did he mean that he already had a girlfriend? He doesn't want to be tied down? I'm told these women are attractive, I can at least tell they're pretty. Does he mean he doesn't like the booze they have? Because, frankly, no one likes bud light and jungle juice. He's already been in college for a year; he's gotta be used to it by now.

But it certainly can't be what I wished it was. Because then there would be something here for him: me.

As if on cue, a sloppy drunk girl comes over and introduces herself to us (but mainly Edward).

"Well hello, gentlemen. I'm Jezzi…Jessia…Jessica. And you are?"

"Someone who's not interested," Edward spotted out. Jessica slinks (or so she thinks, but it was more of a stumble) away embarrassed. Part of me wants to tell Edward that was rude of him, but I just can't work up the courage to do it. Maybe later I'll tell him. But only if he brings it up first.

"I think I'm about ready to head home. This whole party was a pretty big waster of my time. Our time. What do you say, Jay? We out of here?"

But of course I don't respond with more than a head nod. _Jay?_ No one's ever called me that, but I could certainly get used to it.

It took somewhere around 10 minutes to find Emmett to thank him for inviting us, then another 5 minutes to find our way out. By the time we got back to our dorm, it was nearly 4 a.m. Thank god we still have two days until classes start.

As my head finally hits the pillow, I found myself succumbing to the panic attack that's been building since this morning. I try to keep my volume down- I'm not sure when Edward's gonna come back from his shower.

Edward. What did he mean by "there's nothing here for me?" Was that why he left his last school? Would he leave this school-me-too?

I fall asleep thinking about him before he gets back from his shower.


	3. Chapter 3

I was abruptly awoken the next morning by Edward whisper yelling. I couldn't make much of it out between his volume and my current state of groggyness.

"Can't come…ask you not to…through with…I said no…James…James…James."

James. Who is James and why is Edward so upset with him?

It goes quiet and I fall back asleep.

Edward and I go out to lunch later in the day and I'm not sure if I should ask him about the call or not. We only just met, but I don't know if he has anyone else here to talk about it with. Or if actually wants to talk about it in the first place.

After Edward apologized for waking me up that morning, I decided that was probably all I was going to get out of him about it for now.

Despite Edward's obvious urge to not speak about the phone call, he seemed somewhat off for the rest of the day. He constantly looked on the verge of tears but blamed it on allergies. He didn't speak much, and when he did, he was apologizing for not having listened to what I said.

I invited him to the gym and he accepted, hoping maybe if he blew off some steam he would open up more. Unfortunately I didn't think my plan entirely through and a sweaty Edward is a sexy Edward.

At least it appeared he was getting his frustrations out. He ran on the treadmill for an hour at top speed, followed by lifting for half and hour and punching bags for another half hour.

Despite the fact that it was quite clear to me that Edward was upset about something, probably the phone call, I spent most of the two hours at the gym trying to hide my growing erection.

When Edward asked if I was ready to go, I tried not to answer too quickly. I was tired after two hours of trying to keep up with him and I desperately wanted to get into the shower and…take care of my "situation."

By the time we got back to the dorm, Edward's demeanor did seem a little bit lighter and he let me shower first, thank God. It's hard to hide and erection in gym shorts.

I managed to resolve the problem quite quickly once I was in the shower, but that just left me with my thoughts of Edward and what him problem with James was. I was almost certain that's what was upsetting him, but why? Who was James? It wasn't his brother. He said he didn't have one. Just a sister, Alice.

A cousin? A father? A friend?

A boyfriend?


	4. Chapter 4

Edward was back to normal within a few days. James never called back and he never spoke of the occurrence.

Classes had started and I was seeing less of Edward. We still went to dinner together and did our homework in the room together, but our classes would be staggered during the day and I'd get the room to myself. I took the time to call my little sister, She probably missed me, and I know I missed her.

"Hello?"

"Bells!"

"Jazz!"

"How's my baby sister?"

"Not a baby. I'm 15, Jazz. But how are you? How is school? How are your teachers? How's your roommate? Do you have a lot of homework? Any cute boys? How's the food?"

"Whoa, slow down Bella! Let's take this slow. I'm good. Class wise everything's good. Socially everything's going…going."

"What's that supposed to mean? How's Edward? Any cute boys?"

"Exactly. It's Edward. I really like him, Bella, but I don't know what to do."

"You should probably come out, Jazz. I don't want to push you, but I'm still the only one that knows. You said you would in college. It's better now than later. Be yourself, Jazz. This is the best time of your life for it."

"Thanks, B. Edward's gonna be back soon so I have to go. Be good."

"OF course, Jazz. Think about what I said."

"I will, bye."

"Bye."

"Hey, Jay." Oh shit. I didn't even hear Edward come in.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I just saw Emmett on the elevator. You up for another kappa sig party tonight?"

"Yeah, sure. I need to blow off some steam. Plus my dad was kapsig and wants me to rush it."

"Sounds good, Jay. I'm gonna hop in the shower and start getting ready."

After dinner and some pregaming, Edward and I got to the party. It's more crowded than the last one, but I know more people now that class has started, Edward and I break apart pretty quickly and I don't see him for nearly two hours.

But when I do find him, I'm taken aback. Edward's dancing-quite intimately-with a man. A large man. An attractive, large, stereotypical gay man.

He catches me staring and nods me over to him.

"Jay would you mind if I brought someone home with me tonight?"

What do I say to that 'only if I can join you?';

"Yeah, sure, it's fine. I'm gonna walk back with Rose and Alice soon to make sure they make it okay."

"Alright. See you, Jay. Thanks again.

A simple nod of my head and his face lights up.

Two hours later and I'm nearly asleep. My brain is running through all of the possibilities that tonight could lead to, but the alcohol in my system is suppressing me.

The door swings open and I can't hear the two talking, but I can hear them kissing.

And moaning.

"Shh…shh…Jake, keep it down. My roommate's asleep."

I roll over and open my eyes to alert him I'm still awake, but they're already back on each other and undressing each other.

I hear…and see Jake moaning again and Edward cuts him off.

"Jake…shh…don't wake him up."

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to do that. You said he wants to rush. If he's like the rest of the frat guys, he's probably a huge homophobe."

"Jake, don't say that."

"What? That frat guys are homophobes? You saw how they were looking at us tonight."

"No. What you said about my Jay. He's a cool kid. He wouldn't be rude, it's just courtesy not to wake him up, that's all."

My Jay?  
"'My' Jay? What? Do you have a crush on your straight roommate? Whatever, Ed, I don't want to do this that much. I'm not hard anymore. Don't call me until you get your head out of your ass."

Jake slams the door on his way out and Edward's head snaps towards me to see if I'm awake. The jig is up.

Edward whispered with his voice cracking, "I'm sorry, Jay."

I don't know what to respond with, and I fall asleep to the sound of his sniffles.


	5. Chapter 5

I think I only slept 3 hours last night.

Edward's gay, stood up for me, and sorry. And called me his.

I don't know what's going on, but as much as I hate confrontation, we have to talk. But what do I sat? "Oh, Edward, I'm gay too! Let's Bone?" Just because we're both gay doesn't mean he likes me. But he…I'm just too confused.

I notice Edward stirring and I bold to go take a shower to avoid him for a little longer.

On my way out of the bathroom, Edward just nods at me while he heads in, I debate whether I should ditch to avoid him longer, but I don't want to wait and make things worse.

I swear that was the shortest shower ever taken and it's time to talk to Edward.

"Jay, I'm sorry about last night. I just…how much did you hear?"

"All of it."

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry, for Jake, for everything. Don't think…what I said…"

"Edward, it's okay…I'm gay too." Bells was right, it's a ton of weight off my shoulders.

"Oh, well, cool. I just thought…don't mind me. I have to go to the library."

"Edward! You forgot you," the door slams, "…books."

After an hour of attempting to do homework and compulsively checking my email, Edward comes storming back in. He looks angry and confused.

"Jasper, I just don't know what to say or… I'm sorry. And I'm so sorry for this." I don't really have time to form a response before his hands are on my face and his lips are on mine.

As Edward must have realized what he had done and started to pull back, I start to react and pull him back. I feel him tongue slip into my mouth and it's like heaven. I've kissed girls before (to keep up my previously well held charade), but this is my first kiss with a bay, and boy is it good.

Edward and I move after what feels like months to pull away; I to see his face, and him for probably air judging the laboriousness of his breathing.

"I take back that second 'sorry, Jay,' and switch it to 'you're welcome, baby.'"

"Edward that was…thank you. But…what made you come back? Where did you go? You left all of your books here."

"I needed to think. I haven't had feelings like these in a while, Jay, I didn't want to get hurt; I really like you."

"So why'd you come back?"

"You saw me turn down Jake, and we can both agree: he was hot. I figured you'd hues there was someone else and I wanted to tell you who it was before you asked. Then when I got back, you looked so worried that I got flustered and just went for it."

"I'm glad you did."

"Me, too."

I lean in to kiss Edward again, but pull back before we get too far.

"Edward, baby, I've never done this before. At least not with another man."

"I'll take it slow. I'll wait for you."

"Thank you, Edward. But…what are we?"

"I was hoping you'd go on a date with me tonight and maybe be my boyfriend."

"I'd love nothing more."

'On both accounts,' I think to myself as I lean in to kiss Edward more.


	6. Chapter 6

Friday night came around and for the first time since I've been in college, it will not be spent partying.

Edward and I had spent much of the week having meals together talking, and stealing kisses here and there, but tonight would be a "proper date" and, I was hoping, we could move forward with our physical relationship.

Edward knew this was all new to me, and I think that's why we're moving slow, but I'm ready for more.

Edward said we'd be doing casual dinner and a movie, so jeans and a t-shirt would be acceptable. It was off getting ready for a date with the other person in the room, but I kind of enjoyed it. We stole glances and before we left gave each other quick pecks on the check.

I was feeling quite confidant for a first date.

We walked to the theatre together, joking most of the way and be as inconspicuous as two friends going to see a new action moving together.

When we got to the theater, after a struggle, Edward paid for the tickets (because "_I_ asked _you_"). I hadn't thought to ask him what we were seeing, and it turned out to be the newest campy horror film. I figured if it's not scary, it will at least be hilariously bad.

The theatre was nearly empty (a testament to the quality of the film), so we managed to get some pretty good seats towards the back and center.

Through the previous and first 10 minutes or so, Edward and I sat in amiable silence until I remembered that this was a date and I was pretty sure he liked me.

I mustered up all the courage I had and grabbed his hand. He leaned over to kiss my cheek and whispered, "Scared already?"

"Not in the least."

For most of the film, I found myself laughing hysterically rather than being scared, but every once in a while I would jump a little and Edward would squeeze my hand a little tighter.

Once the movie ends, we let go of each other reluctantly so we can pick everything up, but even once we throw away our popcorn and drink, he doesn't take my hand back. I get a little concerned, but decide not to bring it up until we're seated for dinner.

We stop at a small diner near campus and are seated quickly. We both order chicken fingers (seeing as they're somewhat of a diner staple) and once the waitress walks away, I ask Edward why he won't hold my hand in public.

"I didn't think you'd be comfortable with it. I didn't want to push you."

"Don't worry about it, Edward. If I'm uncomfortable with something, I'll tell you, and I can tell you right now, I'm not uncomfortable with holding hands."

So we did. We held hands all through dinner (as best as we could) and if we weren't holding hands, we were touching in some way; usually someone's foot touching the other's leg.

We continued holding hands as we strolled back to the dorm, and when we got back to the room, we didn't know how to end it. I didn't want it to end, but I didn't want it to get out of hand, either.

We stood at our door looking at each other awkwardly. Eventually Edward snapped out of it and leaned in to kiss me. I met him halfway and I experienced the best kiss of my life. It was a simple linger kiss on the lips, but with more emotion behind it than I could have ever imagined. We pulled back and looked at each other for what might has well have been a month before stepping into our room.

As soon as we stepped into the room, I found myself pressed up against the closed door with Edward's mouth on mine. When I regained my wits, I slipped my tongue into his mouth-partially to let him know I was okay with this, but mostly to be closer to him. He slowly led me to his bed where we continued kissing for a good hour before he pulled back.

"If we keep going, I won't be able to stop, and this really will be pushing too far."

I agreed with him. I was pretty sure I wanted to keep going, but I was also pretty tired. We both got ready for bed, and after a long debate with myself while brushing my teeth, I crawled into bed with Edward. He stiffened for a second before kissing me on the cheek, murmuring that we're definitely going on a second date, wrapping his arms around me, and falling asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Edward and I spent the week together in easy harmony. Not much changed, but at the same time, a lot changed. We still had meals together and watched the same shows, but now we'd hold hands on the way to dinner and cuddle while watching TV, but after that first night, we slept in our own beds.

That Thursday, post goodnight kiss/makeout, Edward told me to hurry home from class on Friday so we could go on our second date. I was somewhat disappointed that Edward was running all of our dates, but he really was more experienced and I had no way to go about all of this.

Friday in class I was nearly twitching to get out. My professor finally checked her watch and let us go and I sped back to our room while trying to look inconspicuous.

My haste got me back to the room before Edward and I quickly threw my bag down and put on a nicer shirt. A couple of minutes later, Edward came in to put his back down and was ready to go. I repeatedly asked him where we were going, but he was too damn stubborn to tell me.

After around twenty minutes of travel, I found Edward and I at the local fair. The sky was lit up with the lights from the rides and the sound of children. The scent of cotton candy and funnel cakes wafted the air and my mouth watered.

"Is this okay with you?" Edward asked warily.

"Of course it is! I haven't gone to the fair in years!"

As I said this, I saw Edward's eye get a devilish glint and he grabbed my hand and dragged me behind him to the ticket booth.

Six rides later and we decided to take a break for food. We both got a corn dog and chose to share a funnel cake and cotton candy.

After goofing off for a while and daring each other to try and win some prizes (both of us declined assuming the games were rigged and a waste of money), Edward's demeanor turned somewhat serious.

"Jasper, I really enjoy spending time with you." Oh God, he's breaking ip with me. "And I want you to know that I'd do anything for you. With you. When you're ready for the next level, I am too. I want you to be my boyfriend."

"Edward….I…I just…it…" For lack of better wording, I leaned in and kissed Edward hoping I could convey all of my emotions to him through the kiss.

When I remembered where we are, I pulled back with a smile and see Edward is doing the same thing.

"I guess that means, 'Why yes, Edward! I feel the same way and, too, would like to take this up a notch.'"

"Yeah, I would."

"So boyfriends?"

"Boyfriends." And a quick kiss.

"Come with me. One more ride before we go home."

"I'll go with you anywhere, Edward."

I once again find myself being ragged behind Edward to the fun house but drag him off his course to a different ride: the Ferris wheel.

The line wasn't very long, and when the ride operator looked at our intertwined hands, she winked at us-I was hoping she would stop the ride with us on it and give us some time at the top.

Edward looked a little scared, so I squeezed his hand and promised not to rock the chair. He appeared to loosen up a little, and as we sat down I put my arm over his shoulder and pulled him into me.

We cuddled a little closer and shared a few kisses as the wheel spun around a few times, but Edward started to panic when we got to the top and stopped. I assured him that the operator was just giving us some time and that the ride was not in fact broken.

"Look, the operator's smiling and everything. Definitely not broken."

"I don't want to look down. I'd rather just take your work for it."

"I never suspected you to be afraid of heights. I guess I'll just have to distract you." I saw Edward cock his head in question, but before he could vocalize his confusion, my mouth was on his, my tongue in his mouth.

We continued kissing for quite some time, really getting into it, when the wheel began to spin again. I was hoping we'd get a little more time on the ride so I could will away the little problem in my pants: Sir Jasper, the engorged.

The next round up to the top and we were stopped again. Edward was much more confidant this time, but I wasn't it stopped again too soon.

Sure enough, when I looked down, the operator was frantically pressing a button and calling for help.

"Edward, we're really stuck this time."

He looked at me wide eye, then glared and said, "Don't mess with me like that, Jay."

"No, really. The operator looks panicked. We may be here for a while."

I see that devilish look Edward gets sometimes, and he says, "So I can do this?" This time I cocked my head to the side and before I could question him, his hand was on my crotch.

I saw him look to me for confirmation that this was okay, and all I could do was nod my head and groan.

He continued palming me over my jeans, probably in fear that we would start moving soon, but I think both of us want to feel more.

After a few more rubs, the ride operator yells up, "Sorry guys it's gonna be at least another fifteen minutes." When she says this, Edward and I both reach for my belt at the same time, and pretty soon Edward's hand is down my pants pulling my dick out.

He spits on his palm, then it's back on my cock and I'm pretty much in heaven. I've always known I was gay, so I never experimented with girls, and there wasn't a gay social scene back home, so this was my first time getting off with anything but my own hand.

I hold off my orgasm as long as I could, but Edward really is that good and I cum all over his hand. He smirks at me and licks my jizz off his hand. If I hadn't just cum, I would have gotten hard then and there. Edward leaning in to kiss me, sweetly, and I could taste myself on his tongue. This, too, could have turned me on, but the kiss was too sweet and passionate for me to focus on anything more than my growing feelings for Edward.

I smiled at Edward serenely and promised him to reciprocate the act.

"Don't rush yourself, Jay; I know this is all new to you. Giving you pleasure gives me pleasure, too." I move in to kiss him and the ride starts moving again.

That night, Edward and I cuddled to sleep again.


	8. Chapter 8

This week passed much the same as the last, but with mire intimacies. I was far less shy about being seen with Edward, but we were both so busy, there weren't many opportunities to be seen.

Edward and I decided on Friday, instead of going out on a fate, just us, we'd go and party with Emmett. I had told Edward I was going to rush and he wanted me to go out and make connections.

When the time came Friday night, I was somewhat nervous. I wasn't ashamed of who I was and I wanted to be seen with Edward, but I knew that being out wouldn't get me get a bid. Edward could sense my tension and quickly figured out what was worrying me. We decided that, while we wouldn't hide our affections, we would keep them subtle with just light touches and chaste kisses.

When we got to the party, it wasn't quite crowded yet, and we took that opportunity to snag a beer pong table playing against Emmett and Rosalie. We both figured we had the win in the bag.

Emmett looks like he'll be able to hold himself, but Rosalie not so much. On top of that, they would just start hooking up and would pay more attention to each other instead of the game.

We were wrong. They both held their own and were fiercely competitive. I was feeling the effects of the alcohol, and from what I could tell, Edward was too. His cheeks were rosy and we were both growing more brazen with our touches.

Near the end of the game, Rosalie and Emmett couldn't keep their hands off of each other, and frankly, neither could we. But the time Emmett's tongue was in Rosalie's mouth, I heard Edward yell, "get a room!"

"We have a room: this one!"

Edward looked at me lustfully and murmured, "I guess we do, too," before his lips were on mine and his tongue was in my mouth.

From that moment on, for the rest of the night, all I cared about was Edward.

He pulled away from the kiss, much to my dismay, but leaned in, nibbled on my earlobe, and asked if I wanted to dance with him. By now the party had filled up and the crowd of people dancing was pretty big, so I agreed.

The first song playing was some rock song, so we just started dancing while growing close to each other.

By the end of the song, our hands were on each other. The next song was a rap song, and immediately, Edward pulled me in close and started grinding. I ground back.

I was completely lost in Edward Cullen. The fringing was giving me a hard on, and I could tell it was giving Edward one too. Three, maybe four, maybe eight songs later, I wanted more. We were kissing and grinding and touching and I couldn't take it anymore.

"We should get out of here." I hoped he found that sexy, I had never done this before.

"I was thinking the same thing." We grabbed each other's hands and stumbled our way back to our room.

I had always seen those elevator sex scenes and thought it would never be me. To be fair, it still wasn't, but I was a hell of a lot closer. Edward and I had stopped grinding, I didn't want to cum in my jeans, but when we got in the room I pushed him against the door and palmed him. He was just as hard as I was.

"I'm ready for more, Edward."

"Are you sure?" I confirm with a kiss and pill his shirt off. Edward still hesitates with his hands at the hem of my shirt.

"That meant yes, Edward."

Now we're both shirtless and the combination of our dicks rubbing and our chests pressed against each other doesn't satiate my urges and really just makes me want more.

I start backing Edward up towards my bed while I remove both his pants and mine. Once we were on the bed, I knew I wanted to reciprocate the hand job, and the confidence I found deep down wanted to go further.

I take Edward's boxers ff and I see a look of confusion as I kiss down his chest. I get lower and lower, and by the time I get to his happy trail, realization crosses his face. I give him a wicked glimpse and take him in my mouth.

I'm not positive what I'm doing, but I think about what I'd want to have done to me and Edward starts moaning. I bob in and out, rubbing his balls in my hands and he grabs onyo my hair, then starts to pull me away.

Shit. I look at him pleadingly but really don't know what to say.

"Oh no, baby, you were perfect. I just want us to cum together."

As Edward flips us over so he's on top I start to panic.

"I don't think I'm ready for…that."

"I know. Something else maybe."

Edward presses his body almost completely over me and starts thrusting. Our penises start rubbing against each other, flesh on flesh, with the most delectable sensation.

I start thrusting back, our dicks caught between us against each other and we both start moaning.

"Baby, I'm about to cum," but I really ty to hold it off.

"I'm gonna try something, Jay. Bear with me."

His hand slips under me and I feel a slight pinch followed by pleasure as he sticks his finger in my ass and I quickly reach my climax.

As I'm making a mess over both of us, Edward stills his actions and cums as well.

We lay next to each other exhausted after cleaning up with the tissues on my bedside table.

'Thank you, for everything. For being gentle and pushing me just far enough."

"No problem, Jay. I'm here for you always."

I excuse myself with a kiss and slip in some sweatpants to head to the bathroom to pee. When I see it on our dry erase board, after the required drawing of a penis for all dry erase boards, in huge letters:

"FAGS."

Oh shit. What did we get ourselves into at the party?


	9. Chapter 9

I was very cautious for the days following Edward's and my big outing, but I was happy to realize that very few people minded. Generally, if someone expressed their distaste, I wouldn't have to say anything as the others around criticized them.

Thanks to the friendliness of the campus, Edward and I were pretty much completely out. We had no problem holding hands and sneaking quick kisses in public like any straight couple.

I realize that most couples don't live together this early in their relationship, but we really can't help it. And I wouldn't want to change it.

We slept in our own beds for the most part. One bed was too uncomfortable for two people to sleep in consistently. I considered pushing our beds together, but never brought it up. Edward and I were both clean and respectful, and we lived like a couple that had been together for years (except for the separate beds part).

Rush week was coming up, and between that and homework, Edward and I didn't get much time together. Instead of going out Friday night, we went to the library together to study so I could try and get ahead on my work and save some time next week,.

We were sitting right next to each other with our knees touching, and I was trying to pay attention to my work, but I was itching for a break.

Edward subtly placed his hand on my thigh and gently squeezed. And I broke.

"Meet me in the third floor shelves in two minutes," and I was off to prepare.

I got to the shelves and paced impatiently. In my haste to get a release, I forgot that I wasn't sure how I would get a release here.

I was still pacing when Edward came up and grabbed me to start kissing me and grinding,. The stacks we were in were usually empty and it was a Friday night, so I started to easy up. Edward palming me through my jeans probably helped, too.

Noticing that Edward needed some release, too, I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans before I jammed my hand down them and started pumping him: fast and hard.

After maybe a minute, he began to reciprocate the act, but then pulled away. And onto his knees.

He pulled my penis out of my boxers and took me into his mouth. His hot, wet mouth. Not sure what to do with my hands, I tangled them into his already disheveled hair and found myself helping him set the rhythm. I looked down at him and saw his eyelids were hooded too, seeing as he jacked himself off at the same time. That alone could have gotten me to blow a load, but his finger in my ass secured it. As he sucked me dry and came in his hand, I thought about how I couldn't wait until it was his dick in my ass. If his finger feels this good, his penis must be like heaven.

I slowly pulled him to his feet and kissed him slowly, filled with passion and love instead of our frenzied want and need. As he moved to kiss my throat, I grabbed his hand and started liking his ejaculate off of it. As I sucked his finer, he sucked my neck. He was going to give me a hickey, but I really couldn't are.

We tucked ourselves back into our jeans and continued back to studying hand in hand.

Rush week came and went and bid day was here. But I didn't get one. Not a single bid. I was devastated, I went through my classes like a robot and came straight back to my room. I found myself zoning out watching reruns of the Real World. What season is this now? 24?

I didn't notice Edward had come in until he turned off the TV.

"What's up with you, Jay? You look lost in your thoughts."

"I didn't get any bids." I saw his face drop and he got a sympathetic look on it. I'd normally say I didn't want any pity, but I really just need someone to support me right now.

"Oh, Jay." I scooted over in my bed and he took the initiative to curl up with me. He'd be the big spoon.

"Do you know what happened? Did they tell you why you didn't get one?"

"No idea. And I didn't want to ask. I was really looking forward to this. I really thought this would help me."

"I know, baby. It hurts. But you don't need them. You have plenty of friends around you who love you, Greek or not. I lo-"

Someone knocked on the door and Edward jumped up to get it.

Emmett walked in and I didn't know what to say to him. I thought at least he would give me a bid.

As I was building up my courage, he began to speak:

"Jasper, I'm so sorry about the bids. I just found out. I had no say in the recruiting, but I'm pissed and told my brothers as much. They won't me what happened, but I have my suspicions, and if my suspicions are right, you want nothing to do with them anyway."

"So it's because I'm gay?"

"I'm so sorry, Jasper." Emmett truly did look sorry, and Edward just looked pissed. I could have sworn I heard him murmur something about "fucking homophones" under his breath.

"Thanks, Em. I'll be okay. I think I just need some alone time."

"Alright bro, I'll see you later."

When the door closed behind Emmet, Edward said he'd leave too, but I told him to stay. I meant I wanted alone time- with him.

We lay in bed quietly for a while, and then eventually turned the TV back on to watch the new episode of _House_. At the end of the episode, I turned to ask Edward a question I'd been putting off.

"E, what are you doing for thanksgiving?"

"I was gonna stay on campus. My parents are flying out to New York, but I'm not really looking for two days of travel for one day of family time."

"In that case, would you want to come stay with me for thanksgiving? My parents said it was cool; thanksgiving isn't really big in my family. Plus, I want you there with me when I come out to my parents."

"Are you sure, Jay? Does Bella know already?"

"Yeah, Bells knows. And I'm sure I want you there. I'm afraid of what's going to happen."

"Of course, Jay. Anything for you."

"Thanks, babe." I almost ended with an "I love you," but was too tired to get it out.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanksgiving was here, and I was sitting on the bus home next to Edward. He was asleep, head on my shoulder-as adorable as ever, but I was too nervous to sleep. I was going to come out to my parents tonight. Part of me wanted to wait so I wouldn't ruin the holiday, but I didn't want to be hiding Edward either, so I decided to just get it over with.

"Edward, wake up, we're almost there."

"I'm up. Are you okay? Did you sleep at all?"

"No, I was too nervous. How aren't you nervous? You're meeting your boyfriend's parents."

I'm trying not to think about it. I'm sure it will all hit at once and I'll throw up all over your parents' living room. What a great first impression."

"You'll be fine. We're here. There are my parents."

After kissing and hugging and thanksgiving wishes, we caught up on the ride home and were now all in the living room drinking cider with my parents and Bella. I had told Bella about the upcoming weekend, and the second hand nervousness radiating off of her and Edward compounding upon my own nervousness was really killing me.

"So Jasper, how did rushing go? What fraternity are you in now?" Oh no. I had forgotten about that. My dad wanted me to join a frat so badly.

"I…uh…didn't get any bids."

"WHAT? What happened, son"?"

"I…uhm…well I…" I felt Edward stiffen next to me.

I took a deep breath and started again.

"Dad, I didn't get a bid because I'm gay. Edward isn't just my roommate, he's my boyfriend."

I felt myself crying and Edward put his hand on my knee to still my shaking leg.

"So you didn't get a bid because you're gay?"

I nodded my head and Edward' grip tightened.

"You wouldn't want to associate with these homophobes anyway. Darling, how long until dinner?"

"About five minutes." And with that, my parents walked out of the room.

"Was that it?"

"Jasper, mom and dad are okay with it."

"I was so ready for a fight."

"Me too," Edward and Bella said at the same time.

"Huh."

Dinner went well and my parents seemed to be loving Edward. We were all joking and laughing and no on flinched when Edward and I would get slightly intimate while keeping it PG for our current company.

Thanksgiving was small at our house, but we did have our traditions. As we curled on the couch for our annual post-meal movie, we decided on "Love Actually" to get in the Christmas mood.

My parents and Bella were all wrapped up in blankets on the big cough, and Edward and I were sharing a blanket on the large chair.

I never really thought of "Love Actually" as a particularly arousing movie, but I think the combination of having to stifle our affections some and the relief of my coming out made us both kind of horny. While keeping it on the down low under the blanket, Edward starting palming me through my jeans. I carefully unzipped his pants and took him out to be more thorough and he quickly reciprocated.

We were getting pretty close when the movie ended and we had to stuff ourselves back in when everyone started moving about. I quickly excused us claiming travel weariness, and before my mother could insist we sleep in different rooms, my door was closed and locked and Edward was pressed up against it.

We were fringing against each other uncontrollably and moved to the bed. Shirts were removed, followed by pants, and I realized this was it; I wanted all of Edward. Now.

"Edward, wait. I want more of you. I want you inside of me."

"Jay, are you sure? This is…"

"Big. I know. I'm sure."

"It's going to hurt."

"No matter how long we wait, it's going to hurt. But the sooner we deal with the pain, the sooner we can have the pleasure."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You'll be gentle."

With that, I reached into my bedside table and pulled out a condom and lube. The condoms had never been used, but the lube had gotten a lot of personal time action.

I rolled the condom onto him and lubed him up before laying back to pull him on top of me and start kissing him.

I hear him click close the bottle after putting lube on his fingers and slipped a finger in my hold. The pinch passed quickly as we had been doing this much quite often, but it was a little pinchier when he added a second finer. He pumped in and out waiting for the pain to pass while I matched his rhythm via hand job. He entered a third finger and lined himself up for penetration.

He looked me in the eye and I nodded my head with a smile and he slowly started pushing himself in.

And it hurt. I saw him straining not to move, and when the pain started ebbing (but not going away), I grabbed his hips and cued him to push in further. We did this dance for a few minutes before he was fully sheathed and began pumping in and out.

I felt no pleasure, but I mentally prepared myself for this, and hoped he would be done soon. He stiffened and came, when he looked up at me and realized I hadn't gotten anywhere.

"Jay, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did wrong. I-"

"Sweetheart, it's okay. This was the first time. If we keep working at it, it will get better. I would, however, like to remind you that there are other ways to take care of my little situation," nodding down to my still throbbing hard on.

Edward smiled and relaxed while he took me into his mouth.

I came shortly thereafter, and Edward crawled out of bed to get some wet wash clothes to clean us up.

Once we were clean, we made our way under the covers, curled up tightly, and kissed each other to sleep.

I was going to be sore in the morning.

* * *

**Please review! I see a lot of people putting this on story alert, but not saying anything.**


	11. Chapter 11

The weeks following Thanksgiving were amazing; Edward and I were inseparable. We had begun unofficially sharing a bed nightly. It was small, but we were definitely cuddlers, and as winter approached, the extra body eat was welcome.

I was in a state of bliss. We ate as many meals together as possible and when class work prevented it; we had other friends who could eat with us. We still went to frat parties. Free booze is free booze, and by now, everyone knew we were together and even though I couldn't join a frat, they were cool with us coming to their parties.

I wasn't feeling as anxious as I used to, and I was definitely sleeping better than ever. Until the phone calls started. At all hours of the night, Edward's phone would ring. He never answered, and began turning his phone off at night (with his parents having directions to call me in case of an emergency), but it started ringing nonstop through the day now, too.

It wasn't that Edward was totally against answering his phone. He still did sometimes. When I asked him about it, he said he had answered once before, but it had been the wrong number, so he stopped answering.

That all sounded reasonably probable to me, so I didn't question him.

Until I got out of class early one day and heard Edward on the phone yelling.

"No, James, I told you we were over. This is why I left. I'm with Jasper now. No, James. I've asked you to stop calling, please respect that. Fine." Edward slammed his phone shut before he spun around and saw me.

"Jasper. This. I. What are you doing here?"

"My class got out early. What happened, Edward? Is everything okay?"

"Jay, I never told you why I transferred."

Edward and I sat down together and he explained his past to me.

He was out at his last school, and like he was here, he didn't think it was a big deal and would answer with the truth only when people asked. He dated here and there until he found James.

From what Edward said, James was gorgeous and a genuinely nice guy. They dated for a few months when Edward slowly noticed how controlling James was being, but Edward chalked it up to first love. James wasn't being violent or anything, yet.

But that was where Edward stopped. He said he didn't want to go into it. He said he's dealt with it and moved on, but James hasn't.

Edward said James kept calling once Edward got out of the relationship and decided to transfer, but eventually stopped.

But I hues he had started calling again. He had said he heard Edward was dating again and was jealous.

"Do you think he'll stop calling this time?"

"We'll see. James is a bit of a loose cannon. Do you want to maybe stay in tonight, Jay?"

"Yeah. You order food and I'll pick the movie."

Twenty minutes later and we were sitting on Edward's bed, eating pizza and watching a movie. We have come to adopt Edward's bed as mire of a couch and slept in mine. This was nice. After all the drama and a long week at school, simply relaxing with Edward was one of the best things ever.

We had constantly been going out together. I think most of it was because we enjoy spending time together, but some of it was maybe to prove the naysayers that they couldn't stop us. But tonight was just us. And the movie, but we could control that.

I realized, nearing the end of the movie, that Edward and I had only made love once and that I'd like to do it again. But tonight just seemed too perfect. I knew it would take another few tries to really enjoy it and I just didn't want the bad sex to put a damper on tonight.

I think Edward was feeling the same way as we both changed for bed and crawled in together.

As we held each other and drifted off to sleep, I once again wanted nothing more than to say, "I love you."


	12. Chapter 12

The semester was winding down, and I wasn't seeing Edward as often. We weren't having problems-it was quite the opposite.

The entire campus was buckling down for finals including Edward and I. We studied together occasionally, but most of the time it was far too distracting.

Both Edward's and my finals were pretty spread out, and following the first day of finals, we had the night off-two days until the next one.

We decided to go and see the only bloody, gory movie that was out around the holidays and take our minds off of everything.

Two hours later, and zero plot stories, Edward and I headed back to our room after grabbing some food in the dining hall.

We were both pretty worn out, but we were also pretty horny. I knew this would probably be our only opportunity to be together before finals were over, and I wanted to take advantage of it.

Edward seemed to be on the same page as me as we undressed each other, mouths and hands everywhere.

I was slightly taken out of the moment when Edward started talking.

"Jay, baby, top or bottom?"

"I know it's your turn to bottom, but I want to get through it a few more times until I get to the point where we can switch evenly and not have awkwardness."

"You could have just said, 'bottom,' Jay."

I chose to ignore that and lay down on the bed, pulling him on top of me. We both started grinding without abandon and it was he who stopped our movements. He reached to the bedside table and covered his finger with lube.

It took me some time to come back to my senses once he stuck his fingers in, but I eventually slipped a condom onto him and started pumping his shaft with lube.

Once I felt ready, I led his head to my opening and he slowly slid in. The invasion was much more welcome this time and Edward soon started thrusting, and I found myself matching him.

Thrust for thrust, I wanted more and more of Edward. I pulled him so that he was lying on top of me and I could reach his lips. The change of position had me close to the edge. Edward was able to hit my prostate, kiss my lips, and rub my dick between us.

I came shortly thereafter, and Edward kept thrusting. As I was still coming down off of my high, I slipped my fingers into Edward's ass as he had once done to me, and he came almost immediately.

We collapsed in bed together and were asleep within five minutes.

Finals were over.

My brain was fried.

I needed Edward.

And I needed a drink.

We decided to go with Emmett to a frat party to let loose, and then head back to our room early since we wouldn't be seeing each other again until after Christmas. Edward was coming to my parents' house to spend New Year's with me, but a week just seemed too long.

The party was packed and the booze was flowing. Edward and I had lost our inhibitions hours ago. We were doing what could barely be considered dancing, and a certain gentleman received a dance floor hand job from yours truly.

The alcohol started kicking in and I had to pee. There was a line for the bathroom downstairs, but Emmett talked to his brothers and I was allowed upstairs into the cleaner bathroom.

There was a line there too, but it was only one person deep.

"Jasper, how are you?"

"Uh,, good. Have we met?" I already knew I didn't like this guy; he was giving me the creeps.

"We haven't met until now, but you know my boyfriend quite intimately."

"What? James?" and with that, everything went black.


	13. Chapter 13

When I came to, I had a pretty killer headache and a warm hand wrapped around mine. Once I opened my eyes, I quickly realized I was in a hospital and that the hand belonged to Edward.

"Jasper. Oh my God, Jay," Edward got through wracking sobs. "Merry Christmas, baby."

"You too-wait, what? It's not Christmas yet."

"It is. You've been out for a week. This is the best present I could have gotten."

"What…what happened? Was it James?"

"I'm so sorry, Jay. So so-"The doctor walked in just then.

"Jasper, you're awake. I'm gonna have to check you over and talk to you a little. I've had a nurse call your family to let them know you're awake. I'm sorry, Edward, you know the drill."

"I know, I know," Edward kissed me on the forehead, "see you soon, my love."

"You know, Jasper, you're very lucky. Edward was by your side the entire week. We'd have to kick him out to get him to bathe."

"What happened?"

"You took a pretty nasty blow to the head. Edward wants to tell you the whole story, I think, but it certainly looks like you're doing better. You'll need to stay here for another few days and take it easy when you do go home, but I suspect you'll fully heal."

"Thank you, doctor. Can you send Edward back in?"

"Of course."

"As soon as the doctor opened the door, my family flew in with Edward following shyly behind. My mother was nearly smothering me with hugs, tears and kisses.

"Oh, Jasper, my baby boy. You're awake, you're awake! A Christmas miracle, I love you!" When my mother backed off and my father swooped in, she switched attention onto Edward.

"Thank you so much, Edward. You saved my baby's life! You took care of him so well!"

When Bella leaned in, all she did was lightly hug me and whisper in my ear, "He's a good catch, Jazz. Hear him out. He really loves you."

I looked at her funny, but she side stepped so Edward could sit with me.

"I'm glad to see you all and I'm sorry I worried you. Merry Christmas, but I still don't know what happened."

"Jay, I'm so sorry." As Edward started, the rest of my family slinked out.

"It was James. It's my fault he did this to you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

I grabbed Edward's hand and squeezed, "It's not your fault, Edward. It was James, not you. But what did James do to me?"

"I guess he thought he could win me back by getting rid of you. He followed you to the bathroom and hit you… he hit you with a bat. I guess while you were falling you broke your ankle" I looked down then at my ankle. I hadn't noticed the cast on my foot and leg until now.

"Did they catch James? I don't want him to hurt you."

"They got him, Jay. For once, not being able to get out of a rat house in less than twenty minutes paid off. Emmett was coming out of the bathroom as James hit you, so we got to you pretty fast."

"And then you stayed with me. All week," I felt my eyes tearing up, "you missed Christmas with your family to sit around and watch me sleep."

"Jay, baby, I could never leave your side, especially in your time of need. I love you, Jasper," Edward choked out through his tears.

I was sobbing myself now, "I love you too, Edward so much. I'll never let James try to get between us again."

"No worries, he's going to jail. He was already on probation and not only did Emmett see it, but someone got it on camera, too."

"Thank you so much for everything, Edward. Thank you so much."

"Merry Christmas, love."'

"Merry Christmas. I love you."


	14. Chapter 14

I only had to stay in the hospital for another two days, and Edward was there for both of them. He was more comfortable leaving to shower and get non hospital food now that I was awake, but he still spent most of his time by my side.

We watched movies and played games, and when I needed help showering, he helped me up and tenderly washed me with very little hanky-panky.

My parents were here to help get me (and Edward) home, and the two of us squeezed into the back seat with Bella. Edward's original plan was to come tomorrow to visit, so we figured he might as well just come with us now.

My parents once again didn't say anything about our sleeping arrangements, but they probably felt safer having someone in the room with me.

We pulled into the driveway and I'd never been happier to be home. My dad and Bella grabbed our bags while Edward helped me inside. I had crutches, but I wasn't quite proficient with them yet, so Edward practically carried me up to my room.

We passed the Christmas tree on our way up and I was disappointed I couldn't enjoy it this year. I think Edward sensed my disappointment and squeezed my side a little tighter. When we entered the room a few seconds later, I was surprised by what I saw.

A Christmas tree, all be it a small one, sat lit up in the corner of my room.

Edward helped me into bed, and I saw no look of incredulity on his face.

"You knew about this, didn't you?"

"Well it was my idea. I knew you'd have to be in bed and I wanted to bring Christmas to you. Your mother put the plan into action."

"Thank you, Edward, I love you."

"I love you too, Jay, now get some sleep."

As I was nodding off, I mumbled a quiet, "'kay."

I woke up a few hours later and Edward was lying next to me with his back to me. It was dark outside, and after consulting my clock, it was 2:30 AM. The door was closed and the house was mostly silent, save for the sounds of Edward sobbing.

I placed my hand gently on his back, and tried to roll him towards me so I could see him face.

"Edward, love, what's wrong?"

"Don't ever do this to me again, Jay," I looked at him quizzically. "Don't ever leave me. I know it may seem like too soon to say 'I love you,' but I truly do. I don't want a life without you. I can see us together twenty, fifty, one hundred years down the line. I sometimes worry that I'm rushing us, or that you don't feel the same, but I've felt what it's like to lose you once, and I don't want to feel that way ever again. I can't take that risk; I want to be with you forever, Jay."

"Edward, I love you too, I ju-"

"Shh, you don't have to say anything yet. I know this is all a lot. Just go back to sleep. It's late…or early rather. I love you Jay."

"Mmhmm," was all I could muster.

I woke up the next morning refreshed, and although I was confused by Edward's timing, I was completely sure on my feelings.

I wanted forever with him too.

Due to my hospitalization, my family decided to push back gift giving today so that I could be there for it.

Edward offered to help me finish wrapping presents and my mother would come in to help with Edward's.

By the time Edward helped me get most of the presents wrapped, I was wiped out. Apparently, sleeping for a week straight just makes me more tired.

I told Edward I was going to sleep, but he was allowed to go get lunch, or help my mother with the Christmas festivities.

When I came to several hours later, I could hear voices in the hallway,. I figured it was my mother and Edward decorating the floor since Christmas was officially upstairs now, but when I heard my name whispered, I really started eavesdropping with earnest.

"I can see how much he loves you, Edward. Don't stress yourself. He'll ta;l about it when he's good and ready, and I expect it will be soon."

"You keep saying that, Esme, but the look on his face really scared me. I don't know if I want to do it anymore."

"You still have a week to decide, son, but I suspect he will come around by then."

Expect what?

I heard footsteps coming towards my room, and I feigned just waking up so that it wouldn't look like I was listening.

"Are you ready to wrap Edward's present, dear?" My mother asked as she entered the room, donning a green and red ensemble.

"I already have most of his wrapped actually; I just need help with one thing…"

"Of course dear, what is it?"

"I need a nice card to write a note to him in. It's kind of personal."

"Sure, give me a minute."

My mother returned with some lovely holiday stationary: red with some small snowflakes. I didn't have much to write; but I felt like the presentation would be perfect.

"Jasper, before you start writing, I just want to talk to you for a minute." 'Just talking' usually wasn't good news, but the look in my mother's eyes said that it would be okay.

"Of course, mom. What's up?"

"I just want you to know that we, your father, your sister, and I, love you very much. We've seen you grow so much since you've started school, and we'll support you in everything you do.

"Edward is a fantastic boy, and he really does love you with everything he's got. We spoke a lot while you were in the hospital, and he really does want to spend his life with you.

"Follow your heart, son."

By the end, both my mother and I had tears in our eyes, and as I hugged her, I whispered a, "thank you. I love you all too."

"Okay, dear. I'll leave you to write. Is twenty minutes enough for us all to come join you and exchange gifts?"

"Twenty minutes is plenty, thank you, mom."

"Anytime."

As my mother left, I wrote Edward's note, following my heart.

"I want forever with you too.

Love always,

Jay"


	15. Chapter 15

The entire family and Edward (which was only five of us) were assembled in my room attempting to eat Christmas dinner.

My mother had through to cut all of the meat downstairs so we could all hold our plates with one hand and a fork in the other, but we were still having difficulty.

Once we were all full or were too frustrated to eat anymore, my dad started to hand out presents.

Everyone was aflutter with excitement opening one present after another, maybe even more so than usual thanks to the delay.

One by one, a new present was opened and thanks were exchanged. My mother had taken it upon herself to buy some extra presents for Edward so he wouldn't feel left out, but the only present he would receive that was important to me was my letter.

As time went on and gift giving continued, I was getting more and more nervous, until finally Edward picked up the envelope.

He looked at me quizzically, not really sure what it could possibly be. I nodded for him to continue, and found myself holding my breath as he slowly, carefully opened the envelope.

I saw him read it slowly and carefully, and as he sat and absorbed it, a smile crossed his face and his eyes filled with tears.

"Thank you," he croaked through his tears.

"I love you, Edward." He got up off the floor and came over to kiss me. I forgot my family was there as we deepened the kiss, and I guess they were letting us have our moment, as they didn't say anything.

When we pulled away slowly, Edward whispered in my ear, "forever," and I did the same for him.

The rest of the day was bliss. My family, including Edward, and I sat around watching movies, eating, and chatting. We were all tired and stuffed pretty early and decided to call it a night.

Edward crawled into bed with me and after staring at each other for ten minutes, we cuddled up and started talking about the future,

Edward and I were not just boyfriends, we were partners. We would move in together, we would graduate and get jobs. Maybe one day we would adopt children, we would retire and grow old and gray together.

Forever meant forever.

The next few days were fantastic. I was allowed out of bed, but because of my ankle, I couldn't get around so much, so I spent a lot of time on the couch with Edward and Bella watching movies, reading, and making out (but the last part only with Edward).

I could see Edward really becoming a part of the family; he would go shopping with my mom, and help my dad at work. When Bella was with us, I could see them bonding. I was elated, even if their version of bonding is ganging up on me.

I spent my nights wrapped around Edward, and I was cleared for sexual activity (as long as I took it easy).

Edward and I managed to talk our parents into letting us get an apartment so we wouldn't be pushing the small twin beds together anymore.

My parents really were taking things well. Edward's parents had always been pretty absent and didn't really care, as long as he stayed out of trouble. Considering how fast we were moving and how recently I had come out to my parents, they were being fantastic. I think they could see how much love Edward and I shared, and my big medical scare really shook them up, too.

Edward and I were happy with where we were, and nothing could tear us apart.


	16. Chapter 16

Today was New Year's Eve, and it's the most excite I've ever been for the holiday.

I was seriously looking forward to the New Year: it was a new school year, a new year of life, hopefully a year free of violence, and most of all, a whole year with Edward by my side.

The entire family spent most of the day bumming around watching marathons, eating, and napping in preparation for tonight.

Bella was headed to a friend's house leading up to midnight, but she wanted to be home at midnight as my parents were throwing their annual party. Edward and I were gonna hang around in my room leading up to midnight-I still needed to take it easy- but we wanted to ring in the new year with a crowd.

Every year, my parents threw a new year's party with all their friends and their families. There was music and dancing, and of course alcohol. This was the one night a year that my parents didn't just turn the blind eye to underage drinking, they practically required it. Then as midnight struck, fireworks were set off in the backyard for everyone to enjoy.

Edward and I woke up from one of our various naps around dinner time, and seeing as mom was so busy getting ready for tonight, Edward made us a couple o sandwiches and ran them up to my room for us the share.

A little while later, we could hear the crowd gathering downstairs, but we just continued switching on and off between the James Bond marathon and making out.

Edward wasn't into much more than kissing and he was much quieter and stiffer than usual. I wrote it off to nerves- there were a lot of people downstairs my parents' age and older, and we've experienced that older folks can be a little less accepting of us. But if he wasn't back to normal tomorrow, I might have to broach the subject.

By the time we went downstairs, Bella was home, it was closer to midnight, and Edward looked like he was going to be sick.

When I asked him about it, he brushed me off and told me he'd be fine.

He remained pretty quiet, but he was polite and friendly, and my parents' friends seemed to really like him.

Around five minutes to midnight, and we were all gathered around outside waiting for the fireworks. By two minutes to midnight, Edward pulled me aside and brought me in close to him.

"Jay, you know how much I love you, and I want you to let me finish before you say anything.

"I love you, so, so much. And when I thought you were gonna die, I thought I was going to die. I don't ever want to go through that again. I don't ever want to lose you.

"You have the deepest, most beautiful, caring soul I've ever encountered. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

"Jasper, will you marry me?"

I was speechless. I knew I wanted this, but I didn't think it would happen this soon. Not that it was too soon, I was just surprised.

"Jay, baby, say something. Is it too soon? I'll wait. Is it your parents? I talked to them, they're okay with this. I'll wait for you if I have-"

"Edward, love. Yes. Yes I will."

His face lit up brighter than I've ever seen it, and mine was probably the same. He pulled me in to kiss him and it was beautiful. I could hear New Year's wishes and fireworks around me, but nothing was as spectacular as Edward.

I pulled away, only to end up bombarding each other with thousands of small kisses and 'I love yous.'

Edward somewhat came to his senses and slipped a ring on my finger. It looks like a normal wedding band, I wasn't one for diamonds, but it meant so much to me.

"I want you to have one too Edward. We're equal partners in this."

"I thought you might say that. So I took care of it," and he slipped a matching ring on his finger too.

My mother came over to us squealing, she knew I would say yes and pulled us both to her for congratulations and hugs. She called my father and Bella over and the congratulations continued.

My mother let our engagement slip to a few more people, but mostly kept her trap shut as people left the party.

For most of the night, Edward and I had tried to keep polite company, keeping the PDA to a minimum, but we couldn't keep our hands off of each other now.

After Bella yelled for us to "get a room," we heeded her advice and did just that. I went into our room expecting it rough, but I quickly followed with Edward and went for a more loving approach.

We were on the bed with gentle kisses and touches. We were taking things slow, and not just to keep me healthy and healing, but to bathe in each other's love.

We made love slowly, taking turns topping and bottoming. We help each other in our post-coital bliss as we drifted off to sleep.

I was awoken the next afternoon by Edward's kisses to the sound of the shower running. He pulled me in with him and we gently bathed each other, followed by a relaxed day with the family before Edward and I would return to school and move into our apartment the next day.

I was looking forward to moving forward with Edward, and couldn't wait to spend my life with him.


	17. Chapter 17

The spring semester had come and gone, and Edward and I were back at my parents' house for the summer. We were not absent of our tiffs, but for the most part, life was bliss.

Our friends were all receptive and congratulatory of our engagement, and we promised to invite them all. Which led us to our current setting:

Sitting at the kitchen table with my mother, surrounded by fabric swatches and wedding magazines.

I had tried to explain to my mother that we wanted a simple wedding. It was inherently simple: neither of us needed a bouquet, no need to go wedding dress shopping, and we could have the ceremony almost anywhere since it couldn't be in a church. Gay marriage had recently been recognized in the state, and we wanted to jump on it in case it got repealed.

I could see Edward getting frustrated, and chose to step in.

"Mom, stop it. We want something small; we can do it in the yard, with a small crowd and get it catered. We don't even need a DJ. We can take care of that. We just need the good and officiate and each other."

She sat there gaping at Edward and I for what felt like hours. When she eventually came back down to earth, her eyes filled with tears and she smiled sweetly.

"That would be lovely boys. I'm sorry I got so carried away. I'll save the dramatics for Bella." I didn't have the heart to tell her that Bella probably wouldn't want this either, and we split for a break.

Tow months had come and gone, and the wedding planning hadn't really let up. I guess that made sense; my mother had backed off, but we really had to buckle down as the fate got closer.

We chose to marry in mid august so that we could go on our honeymoon and be back in time for classes. We were gonna go across Europe for the two weeks, but not quite back packing. We'd stay in nice hotels along the way.

As the wedding got closer, I got more and more anxious. It was an excited anxious, though, not a nervous anxious. Edward and I didn't get much alone time, but the time we were in bed together, we were too tired to do anything but talk. I suppose I was okay with it, I loved talking with Edward and we had the rest of our lives to fool around, but I was hoping to work some of my stress off.

The wedding was in a couple of days, and rather than having bachelor parties, we went out to dinner with our families and friends. The night was splendid as we laughed and ate as one. We had supportive families and found on accepting group of friends to share our love with.

After saying our thanks and before separating for the night, our guests left us with some alone time. We finally got some, and it was overwhelming. When we'd see each other again, we'd be getting married. We shared "I love yous" and passion filled kisses, but mostly just help each other until we were forcefully separated.

I fell asleep surprisingly quickly that night. I was anxious for tomorrow, but I was sound in my belief that Edward and I were meant to be.

I was awoken around nine by my mother and the smell of breakfast. I was sleeping in my childhood bedroom while Edward and his family were in a hotel for the night. After sleeping in this bed for months with Edward, it didn't feel night to sleep here by myself anymore. I took solace in the fact that I'd never have to sleep without Edward again.

I went downstairs to have breakfast with my parents and Bella and had a little bit of a spring in my step. I think my family noticed, but no one said anything, letting me have my moment.

The wedding wasn't until five, so after the short ceremony we could have a nice dinner with dancing. I knew it wouldn't take me long to get ready and therefore didn't have to start until four, and I tried to keep myself occupied for the time being.

First I tried to help set up the back yard, but I was quickly shooed away. Then I tried to help my mother and Bella to get ready, but they insisted they were having "girl time." The caterers needed no help and my father was taking a nap.

I was stuck. I was too excited to nap or even pay attention to a book or movie. Just when I was going to dig out the origami book I got for Christmas in the ninth grade, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Jasper, love, I'm so bored."

"Me too, babe. I know we wanted a small wedding, but at least if it was bigger we'd have some people to talk to."

"We can at least talk to each other."

"For now, they'll separate us soon."

"I know."

We sat in silence for a while, just being, until Edward uncharacteristically squealed through the phone, "we're getting married today! You'll be my husband!"

I chuckled quietly an replied, "I know, love. I love you. So much."

"You too. I guess my excitement has alerted the masses; my mother is about to take away my phone."

"I'll see you soon. I love you, Edward."

"You too, Jay, see you soon."

And with that, I was trapped in my glass case of boredom again.

Two hours of origami fail and ten minutes of dressing up later, and I was sitting on my bed anxiously awaiting my cue to go downstairs.

We hadn't really coordinated our entrances, but I think we were walking in at the same time.

My father came upstairs and walked me down to the tent at the same time Edward's father did the same. The set up kept our same casual feel: the guests were all seated at the round tables they would eat dinner at.

The actual ceremony went splendidly. It sped by like a blur, but Edward was now my husband.

Husband. I didn't think I'd ever find someone I love so much, and on top of that, I never thought I'd legally get to call him my husband.

I was on cloud nine, and I think Edward was too. Neither of us could stop smiling and we hadn't taken our eyes, or hands for that matter, off of each other. When one of us went in to hug another family member, the other would keep his hand on the small of our back or shoulder.

The world was speeding around me so fast, and I only had eyes for Edward.


	18. Chapter 18

Edward and I were heading to France for the first part of our honeymoon. We knew how romantic Cassis, in the south, and Paris could be, and we figured we could blow off the rest of the trip if we wanted to stay there.

After our reception, we headed straight to the airport, flying into Aix-en-Provence to head down to cassis. I wanted Edward, and badly, but good things come to those who wait, and I suppose a beach side villa overlooking the Mediterranean would be as good a place as any to have sex for the first time as a married man.

We both slept on the plane and were fairly inconspicuous. When we landed in Aix, we picked up a rental car and Edward drove us to our hotel.

Cassis was gorgeous. The sun was shining and the small town came off as almost tropical. Our room really was right on the water and it was large with a balcony.

We had gotten a quick meal in preparation for right now, and pretty much nothing could keep Edward and I off each other.

We started out on the balcony kissing and touching. Edward's hands were under my shirt on my chest, teasing my nipples, where as my hands were in his back pockets massaging his ass.

We grew closer and closer together, and after grinding our penises together through our jeans, we chose to take our celebration indoors.

We quickly removed our shirts and pants and found ourselves on the bed. Edward and I discussed incorporating toys into our bedroom play and both were for it, but tonight I wanted it to be just us.

I removed Edward's boxers and began teasing him placing my mouth everywhere but where he wanted it. Eventually I have in and took his dick into my mouth while fondling his balls. I grabbed the lube we had brought and coated my fingers in it, then slowly inserted them into Edward's ass while keeping up the blow job.

Just when Edward was about to go over the edge, I pulled away to prepare myself to enter hi. We had been tested and we both clean, so we decided after the wedding we would forgo condoms. We were still careful to use plenty of lube, but the prospect of bare backing had me harder than I thought possible.

I prepared myself and Edward and slipped into him slowly. Edward and I both started moving with his legs wrapped around my waist. We built up a rhythm and had out hands wrapped together around Edward's dick.

Edward and I came together, and I'd never slept more contently than when I was tangled together with my husband.

We spent most of our time in Cassis in our room exploring this new chapter in our lives. I found that every day I learn something new about Edward.

We only spent a few days in Cassis before heading up to Paris. We learned here to be more open with our displays of affection and began spending our days exploring the city also teaching each other and creating foreplay.

We had really started to open up in the bedroom and began using some toys. Both of us were and of the vibrating cock ring and anal beads, and that's mostly what we stuck to.

On the day we took the train out of the city to visit Versailles, we decided to use the day to experiment with butt plugs.

After a morning session, we lubed each other up and helped insert them snugly. Edward and used one previously and was therefore more daring, so he opted to wear the remote controlled vibrating one.

I had the remote control.

The ride out to the palace was sort of uncomfortable. It wasn't pain, but it wasn't pleasure. I would assume it was like wearing a thong, you eventually get used to having something shoved up your ass.

I could see Edward's gait had changes as I could feel mine had. I wanted to wait until he had gotten used to it before I started adjusting the vibrator.

Our first stop at the palace grounds was to tour the building itself. I had pretty much adjusted to the butt plug, and it looked to me that Edward had too. I didn't want to hurt him, so I placed my hand at the small of his back and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"How are you feeling?"

"Great, I don't feel it at all."

I nibbled on his earlobe, and as seductively as I could muster whispered, "you will."

We walked around the palace hand in hand taking it all in when I eventually started triggering the vibrations quite quickly here and there. Every time I did that, Edward's gut would tighten and he'd trip up a little, but he gave no other hint that I was doing anything to him.

Post tour, we chose to do our own tour of the garden following a picnic lunch we brought.

We found a relatively secluded area and as Edward threw down the blanket, I got our sandwiches and bottle of wine out to share. After eating and joking and laughing, we took a break to cuddle and enjoy the nice weather and wine. I started kicking up the vibrations a little stronger and a little longer and soon Edward was fighting back moans with his hooded eyelids.

Once Edward got accustomed to the steady, light vibrations, we packed up and went to explore the gardens. This was all I needed for the rest of my life; Edward and I, hand in hand, walking to gardens and talking in gorgeous weather.

But being insatiable (and horny), I quickly began playing with the vibrator some more and Edward was getting more and more built up.

By now, we were pretty deep into the gardens and there was no one around. Edward and I apparently got the same idea when we both jumped behind a shed, hiding behind a bush.

We needed to move fast, and not just because we didn't want to get caught, but because we needed each other so badly. Edward got out the lube while I removed my pants, and I realized how great these butt plugs were now that Edward didn't have to spend time stretching me out.

He turned me around so I had my hands against the building and fully slicked up, he removed the plug and rammed into me.

The sudden invasion felt fantastic. I could feel the vibrations moving through him and his shaft hitting my prostate. I knew I wouldn't last long, and sure enough as he reached around to palm my sack, I exploded everywhere. I could feel Edward follow me closely, and before I was completely down from my high, he stuck the plug back in me and found the remote to turn the vibrations off of his.

"I'm gonna keep that in you. We'll be using them again later."


	19. Chapter 19

Edward and I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of our honeymoon and vowed to do the same trip again much later when our children grew up. We spoke about our lives: what we'd do after college, when and how we wanted children.

Everyday I found myself more and more in love with Edward and even when we came home and school would stress us out, or someone forgot to do the dishes, we never loved each other any less.

School continued as usual. We'd spend holidays split between our parents, and over breaks we'd take some vacations, and we became more and more domesticated. We still went out with friends, but more often than not, staying in and watching or movie or reading a book was for more enticing.

Edward and I had been married for nearly two years; he would be graduating in a month but I still had a year left. Edward had a job lined up at a local research company and I was extraordinarily proud of him.

We were content with where we were and I thought big change was far off.

I was wrong.

Edward and I were at my parents' house over Christmas break. My mother had retired, and Bella had graduated from culinary school and was a sous-chef for a very well established chef. She had a pretty serious boyfriend and was growing up before my eyes.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room in front of the Christmas tree and a fire reading a book. Bella and Edward came in at the same time and Edward sat down next to me to draw my attention.

"Jay, Bella and I want to talk to you about something."

"It's actually my Christmas present to you," Bells said somewhat apprehensively.

"Yeah, sure, what's up?"

Edward wrapped his arms around me, "Bella and I have been talking and have an idea."

Bella cut in then, "It was actually my idea. Keep that in mind."

I was getting nervous now, and when Bella nodded to Edward, he took a deep breath to continue.

"I know we were going to wait a few more years to talk children, but I think we're ready now, Jay. We're both ready to be dads, and we have lots of money saved up and I'll be making enough when I graduate to support one. Please, Jasper."

I was shocked. I couldn't totally disagree, though. At first we had discussed children for further down the line, but as our marriage moved forward, I too was really itching to have kids.

"I'll definitely consider it, Edward, but what does Bella have to do with this?"

"She wants to be our surrogate don't say anything yet let me finish. Bella wants to surrogate for us. It would be great. She would use her own eggs-that would be the part like you- then I would donate my sperm. It would be the closest we could get to mixing ourselves in a child.

"And yes, she is young, but this is perfect timing for her. She's taking over the restaurant in two years, and the chef wants to go out with a band, so he'll work for the next two years while Bells takes it easy, and then she'll be way too busy to do this. Please, Jay."

I was dumbfounded. "Bella, I can't ask you to do this."

"I want to. This is my gift to you."

"What about Jake? You guys are getting pretty serious." Bella had been dating a boy named Jake. I was apprehensive at first due to a certain previous Jake, but this Jake seemed like a pretty cool guy.

"He totally supports me."

"Edward, I don't know if we'll have the time for this."

"Between when I'm not working and the fact that you'll have a light course load gives us more time now than what we'd have when we'll both be working full time. And for the small areas when neither of us can be there, we'll find a sitter."

Looking between the two and seeing the hope and love on their faces made it hard to turn them down.

"Do mom and dad know?"

"They offered to help in any way they can. We can do this, babe."

I was overwhelmed, but I knew what I wanted. Choking through a broken sob, I blurted out, "Let's go have a baby then!"


	20. Chapter 20

The whole family was a buzz for the next few days, Edward and I the most so. My parents were thrilled I agreed and couldn't wait to be grandparents.

As soon as Christmas passed, we set the plan into action, Bella was going to doctors and Edward had made a sperm deposit.

New Year's was somewhat uneventful and we all struggled to keep the news to ourselves, especially thinking about how much could change in the next year.

Bella had started treatments by the time we were heading back to school, and Edward and I kept an almost constant dialogue of what the future would hold.

Edward had a pretty light course load just having to gill up a couple of requirements, where as I was overloading so that by the time the baby came, I wouldn't be too busy.

OF course that meant I was busy now and barely saw Edward. Bu now, Bella had probably been implanted with Edward's sperm, but I had no time to even find out. I was concerned I'd be too busy to find out if she was even pregnant.

By a month into the semester, I was at a point of muttering less than even "good morning" to Edward.

I was in one of my afternoon classes when I got a text from Edward:

"Take tonight off.

We have to talk.

Xoxo Edward."

I panicked. I hadn't felt this much panic in ages. I know we hadn't been close, but I've been trying. We might have a baby on the way. He can't do this now.

I went through the rest of my classes in a daze. I had to get home. I had to fix this.

When my last class let out, I nearly sprinted home. I usually went to the library for a few hours, but not tonight.

I didn't wait for an elevator; I sprinted up all seven flights of stairs. I got to the door and fumbled with the key for what felt like hours until I finally threw the door open.

There was Edward, standing in front of me, holding a teddy bear with a giant smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

I was startled by what I saw. This was not what I expected, and Edward sensed that.

"Jay, baby, Bella called. It worked. She's pregnant. We're gonna be fathers." My jaw dropped. I had been expecting the worst, and received the best. When my body finally caught up with my brain, I flew into Edward's arms and began sobbing.

We help each other tightly for what felt like hours, crying, and kissing, and sharing sentiments of love.

Edward eventually moved us onto the couch where he had some champagne chilling. He poured us each a glass and made a toast. After we both took a drink, we fell into a comfortable silence. I would tell Edward wanted to ask something, so I pressured him to speak up.

"What were you so worried about when you first came in, Jay?"

I took a deep breath and was ashamed for what I was going to say.

"I thought you were going to break up with me," I could see Edward about to interrupt, but I wouldn't let him. "I know you wouldn't ever, but I've been so stressed and busy that I thought you maybe didn't mind never seeing me. You don't need to justify your love, baby, I know. I'm gonna try and spend some more time at home. I love you so much, baby. So, so much."

Edward understood, as he always does. We spent hours sitting on the couch and talking about the future and past. Names we liked, what we were like as kids, rules we'd be enforcing, even our fears. I knew though that if I could do this with anyone, it would be Edward.

We went to bed that night and just cuddled, embracing the quiet household while it lasted. Soon everything would change, and I couldn't be more excited.


	21. Chapter 21

As the semester continued, I made an effort to spend more time at home. I would often get distracted, so if I had a test I'd study in the library, but I did most of my work at the kitchen table while Edward bustled around me getting ready for the baby.

We were converting the study into a nursery, although for the first few months, we'd have a basinet set up in our bedroom. Edward spent a lot of time child proofing the apartment, and I figured by the end it would have been easier to just cover everything in bubble wrap.

Spring break finally arrived, and it was a much needed break. We were heading off to my parents' house to relax and go to the doctor with Bella for the first sonogram.

We spent the first few days schlepping around the house. Everyone could see how worn down I was an we just napped, ate, watched movies, and chatted about the baby and how Bells was doing.

Bella was already fed up with pregnancy. She never spoke her distaste, but you could see it in her face every morning, post-sickness. She wasn't showing at all yet, but claimed she felt like a whale. To me, she just looked beautiful.

A few days after we arrived, we accompanied Bella to the doctor. I could feel Edward buzzing next to me with anticipation. We were shooed out of the room for some of the more…personal procedures, but were allowed back in for the sonogram.

I wasn't really sure what I was looking at. It looked far more like a blob than a baby, but it was still our baby. Seeing this blob inside my sister made everything so real. In six short months, Edward and I would be parents.

I could feel the tears wetting my face, and when I looked at Edward, he was in much the same state. We had copies printed and rushed home to show my parents. We called Edward's parents to share our excitement, and we all went out for a celebratory dinner that night.

We eventually headed back home to school, much to our disappointment. We found ourselves back in our busy schedules, and even Edward buckled down with his school work to get ready for finals.

We made it through finals with only some minor breakdowns (mostly on my behalf) and Edward's graduation was here. We had our own personal celebration the night before as both of our families would be in town, and I wanted to show him how proud I was.

Edward had left this morning to go get ready, and I met up with everyone at the ceremony. Edward's parents were beside themselves seeing their only child graduating, and mine were treating this like their own son was graduating.

Bella came with who I guessed was Jake. She was right, he was totally supportive, and it appeared totally in love, with Bella. But it was Bella who I couldn't take my eyes off of. She was about five months along and flowing. Pregnancy fit her well, and when she saw me, she grabbed my hand and put it on her belly to feel the baby kick.

"We can find out the sex next week if you want to. Either way, I want you guys at the appointment."

"We'll be there, thanks, Bells. And thank you, Jake, for being there when we can't."

I sat between Edward's mother and Bella during the ceremony. When Edward crossed the stage, I was so choked up with pride and love, that I couldn't find my voice to cheer along with the rest of the family.

"Cullen" was pretty close to the beginning of the alphabet, so we were in for a lot of sitting around and waiting. It was getting pretty warm, so I turned to see how Bella was doing, only to find her both pale and sweating. She was giving Jake's hand a death grip, and I was growing concerned.

"You okay, Bells? Want me to go get you some water?"

"No, I'm fine, Jay, thanks. Just tired."

I gave her my best big brother "you better not be lying to me" glare.

The ceremony continued on for what felt like hours, and it finally ended with my husband as a graduate. We played phone Marco Polo for a few minutes until he finally got to us.

We nearly knocked each other over in our haste to get together. I kept it toned down seeing as we were in public, but I made sure he could sense my love. He went to his parents next, then mine, and finally to Bella. He put his hand on her belly to feel the baby kick, and a dark look crossed his face.

"Bella, how long?"

"How long, what?"

"You know what I'm asking."

"Close to three hours."

"WHAT?!" I was worried now and intervened.

"Edward, Bella, what's going on?"

"Bella's been having contractions for almost three hours."

"What?!" It was too soon, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to worry you. I thought they'd go away. I'm only five months along!"

"We're going to the hospital." Edward grabbed one of her hands while Jake had her other and started moving. I filled our parents in before catching up to the trip and grabbing Edward's free hand.

He looked at me then, and I could see all of my fears echoed in his eyes.


	22. Chapter 22

We rushed to the hospital with my father driving the car. Edward was in the front seat and Bella was sitting between Jake and I. The contractions were about ten minutes apart, but they were getting closer together.

From what Edward told me, the baby could survive outside of the womb, but it would be tough. We didn't even know the baby's sex yet.

When we got to the hospital, dad dropped us off to go park the car, and a nurse came out quickly with a wheelchair. This wasn't our usual nurse and it took some time to convince her that, yes, we all did have to be in the room with Bella.

Almost immediately, she was hooked up to a ton of monitors and an IV to give her medicine to hopefully stop the labor. Bella was scared. She had no idea what to do, and on top of that, she thought this was her fault, no matter how many times we told her it wasn't.

The hours passed, and the family was in and out of the room getting coffee and food and the likes. Bella wasn't getting worse, but she wasn't getting any better either. There was a doctor coming in every hour to check on things, and nurses coming in between. We were all getting pretty anxious.

One of the times the doctor came in, Bella was asleep. He spent more time than usual, then left and came back with a nurse. He woke Bella up and asked her who she wanted with her in the delivery room. She said Jake, Edward, and I, and we were quickly escorted out and told to put scrubs on. The baby's heard rate was dropping, and Bells needed to deliver now.

We were shuffled into the delivery room, and Bella was wheeled in. Bella had Jake to her right and a nurse to her left. All Edward and I could do was watch and give words of encouragement.

Nearly two hours into pushing and things were getting frantic. They started discussing c-section, but Bella insisted she could do this. Jake moved so that he was sitting behind Bella with her back on his chest, and Edward and I took over the side he abandoned.

45 Minutes later and the baby was so close. Edward moved down the bed so he'd be able to cut the cord, and just 5 minutes later, our son was born. There was no crying and he was rushed away before any of us could get a good look at him.

The mood in the room was bittersweet and quiet until Bella broke it.

"Why don't you go tell mom and dad they're grandparents, and then I'll sign him over to you legally?"

"Thanks, Bells. I love you."

Edward and I went out to the waiting room holding hands, and everyone looked apprehensive.

"Bella's doing well, the baby is a boy, but that's all we know so far. You have a grandson." Both sets of parents ran up to us and hugs were exchanged. My mother went in to check on Bella, and Edward and I filled out the official adoption papers.

We had a son.

Bella was moved to her recovery room and the parents went to go nap and bathe while Edward and I attempted to get some sleep in on the small hospital room couch.

After two hours of shaky sleep, a nurse came in and said she could bring Edward and I to see our son. I grabbed Edward's hand with a death grip and could feel him shaking.

We were both nervous about what we were going to see; we knew he'd be small and hooked up to a lot of machines, but nothing could prepare us for the reality. Our son was even smaller than we suspected, and his skin was nearly transparent. He had machines hooked ip to every part of his body and wasn't breathing on his own. We weren't even allowed to touch him.

Edward and I held each other and cried for what felt like hours simply watching our son. He was here and he was real, but he was sick and frail. A rocking chair was brought over for us and Edward pulled me down into his lap while we discussed names.

Oliver Ianto Cullen was born May 17th at 3 pounds 2 ounces.

Bella was allowed to leave the hospital two days later, but Edward and I still hadn't left Oliver's side. He was staying strong, and we hoped he could pull through.

Once Bells had gone home, Edward and I took turns getting rest and showering while the other kept watch. Edward's parents were staying in our apartment, getting things ready for Oliver to come home. We didn't expect to need to be ready this soon.

A week after Oliver was born, we were allowed to hold him. We had to completely sanitize and Oliver was still hooked up to machines, but we cried and took pictures of the events. I had never loved Edward more than when he was doting on our son.

Oliver was getting stronger, and slowly he was weaned off of the machines; he was going to pull through this. Edward managed to get his job start to be pushed back two weeks after he explained what happened, and I registered for classes three times a week in the late afternoon so Edward could stay with Oliver while I was at class.

When Oliver was a month old, he was allowed to come home with us. Our parents had already gone home, and we were complete on our own. This was the happiest and scariest day of my life. Oliver was coming home and Edward and I were officially starting our journey in parenthood. But we had to care for this small life. We had to put this tiny life before our own and provide him with the best that we could.

We were dads.


	23. Chapter 23

The first week home was rough. Friends came to visit and meet Oliver and we put on a brave face, but we were usually just panicking our way through things.

Oliver was a pretty good sleeper, but only once he got to sleep. We had Oliver sleeping in a basinet in our room and would take turns staying up with him, but when he'd wake up, he'd wake both of us up.

Edward was starting work tomorrow, and I told him I'd keep Oliver the whole night so that he could sleep. Of course the next day I remembered that I'd have to stay up with Oliver during the day too. I drew the short stick and could only hope that Oliver had a better sleep pattern by September.

By Friday night, Edward could see how tired I was. He offered to stay with Oliver that night, and I ended up sleeping until nearly two in the afternoon. Edward, realizing how tired I really was, offered to watch Oliver in the evenings while I slept. It sounded like a good idea, but I barely saw Edward all week as it was. I missed him so much all ready, and it had only been a week.

I expressed my concerns to Edward, and apparently he felt the same way. We really weren't sure what to do besides wait things out. We spent the weekend really enjoying Oliver. We went and had a picnic in the park and spent hours at home talking to each other and Oliver. We knew that Oliver didn't understand any of this and wouldn't remember any of it either, but it didn't matter to us; we would remember it.

We took hundreds of pictures, mostly for ourselves; Oliver would grow up too fast. But we were sure to send a few pictures to our families. We would spend hours just watching Oliver sleep. He was by far the best thing to happen to either of us.

Oliver was nearing the two month mark when Edward had work off for the fourth of July. My parents were throwing a barbeque all day this year, and then we'd go into town to watch the parade and fireworks. My parents had even overzealously bought a crib and built it in my old room so that we could stay the night.

We woke up early in the morning to head to my parents' house. Oliver had pretty much slept through the night and the weather was gorgeous. I was really looking forward to a day with my family and everyone was excited to see Oliver.

We had to stop twice on the way there to feed and change Oliver. Stopping so often was something that used to bother me to no end; but now, doing it for our son was almost enjoyable. Almost.

By the time we arrived, the party was in full swing. Most of the guests hadn't realized I was married, especially to a man, and even had a son. I dealt with a lot of "they grow up so fast" and "I remember when you were this big!" comments, but after seeing how much Oliver had changed in just two months, I knew where they were coming from.

Edward fit in seamlessly with all of the family friends, and after mingling for a few hours, my mother said that she would watch Oliver and shooed us away for a nap.

The nap was glorious. Edward and I went up to my old room and after three minutes, we were completely asleep, wrapped around each other. I had missed this. Not just adequate amounts of sleep, but sharing it with Edward. We were up and down so often during the night that wer barely touched each other.

My mother came and woke us a few hours later with Oliver in tow. The parade was starting soon, and she knew we'd want to be there with Oliver. The family found a good spot on the sidewalk and Edward perched down on the edge holding Oliver and I sat down next to him with my arm around him. The parade was fantastic and from what we could tell, Oliver didn't mind it.

Post parade, we headed back to the house for more barbequing, and now drinking. It was nice to be able to interact with more than Edward and Oliver, and it was heartwarming to see Oliver being doted on. The rest of the night was fantastic, and we all headed into town again to watch fireworks.

Oliver did not like the fireworks and we were getting worn out trying to calm him down. We were so wrapped up in a red faced, bleary eyes Oliver, we nearly missed Jake propose to Bella. It was beautiful and he really was a great guy, especially for sticking with Bells through all of this.

By the end of the show, it was late and we were all exhausted, especially Oliver who was asleep in my arms. My mother offered to watch Oliver for the night, and we tried to oppose; she must have been tired from throwing the barbeque, but she insisted she knew what a newborn would do to our love life, so I cut her off there and consented to her watching Oliver over night.

When we got back to the house, we handed off Oliver and planned to use the time to fool around for a while, but fell asleep too quickly to even take a shower.

The next morning when I woke up, I had to roll away from Edward, we smelled so bad. It was nice to wake up with Edward on our own terms and not on Oliver's, but the results of the day before left it almost unbearable.

Edward awoke a minute or two later and reacted much in the same way I did. In an attempt to stop the stink and get some time to spend on each other, Edward pulled me into the shower with him, grabbing the lube from my bedside table on the way.

When we stepped into the shower, I pulled him to me and into a deep kiss. This was all I really needed for the rest of my life, and I had been sorely missing it for the past few weeks. We spent what may have been days kissing and touching each other before we realized we'd have to get a move on so that the water wouldn't run cold.

I grabbed the lube and coated my fingers before handing it off to Edward. I began to tease him before sticking my fingers into him to prepare him. As I was doing this, he began to lube up my dick. When he felt ready, he turned around and placed his hands on the shower wall before wiggling his ass at me. He was being playful, and I was gonna fuck him. Hard.

I slipped into him slowly so I wouldn't hurt him, but once I was in, I started slamming into him. I was only a minute or two before we both came, and starved for physicality.

We spent the next few minutes bathing each other in both soap and water and love. By the time we stepped out of the shower, the water was running cold. We dried each other off and began kissing each other again, but this time more sensually. Things began heating up and I ended up on the edge of the counter with Edward between my legs, lubing each other up again.

We took things slower this time with Edward inside of me. As much as I enjoyed the fucking, this is really what's been missing between us. We lasted much longer this time, and when we had both come down off our high, Edward looked to me and said, "Let's go see our son."


End file.
